How do you prepare for kid?


(I couldn’t think of anything to do with wine or cycling this week)

Hayley and I have a baby boy on the way. Adults are supposed to know what to say and how to be sensible.  I know that in a distant future, my son may read this blog. In case he does discover it and I am not yet an “Adult” I will be careful about what I say.

I have a big sister and two younger brothers, so initially I felt a little bit worried about what I would have to share, if we had a daughter. As soon as I discover that we were having a boy a new fear gripped me. “I am going to have to role model: being a good man”.

What does that even mean? I know since I discovered the news I have been trying to up my game around the house. I have downloaded apps onto my phone for organizing to-do lists. I have also got another one for making flash cards and I have continued to try and get in the best shape of my life.

It’s almost like I have the feeling that our life is about to get hit by this massive wave, and I am a surfer trying desperately to get my board in the right position before I get hit.

Knowing the baby is on the way has created all these phantom problems in my head. I have started learning coding again out of self-interest: I enjoy it and I really want access to the world I know it will open up for me. But Also I want to share in that world with my son. I want to be computer literate, so I can be his guide in that world. I don’t want us confined to the “can’t code” side of the fence. Nor do I want to see him frolicking about having fun with code while I stand on the side lines cheering a game, with rules that are a mystery to me.

I have no plans to be a middle class parent who is led around by the nose. Always acting out of fear that they are “failing” their kids: At the end of the day we are all only doing the best that we can. And perfect is not a sensible goal. Being optimal is what I want to achieve. Realizing that I have limits I will fail, but that I am persistent and I do keep striving for the things I want: That is probably the best I can manage.

If I can set that example I will be happy.

I am sure there are skills and knowledge I have that other dads are lacking. I am sure that despite my best efforts, I will discover massive blind spots but I can’t help trying to prepare for what is now inevitable: filling a few of the known gaps in my knowledge, so I can help prepare them for the world.

It is kind of crazy, how much the opinion of this little person already matters to me and I haven’t even met them yet. ….